AFTRA anxiety

I am a brand spankin new AFTRA member. I joined because I worked on All My Children in 2008, and so ever since then I have been in the category of a must-join (for you non-showbiz people out there, i will explain it later. i have to get off the internet soon cause the boyfriend has to go to bed). So anyways...I decided to finally join because there were certain TV shows (like the new FX show 'Lights Out') that were specifically requesting AFTRA or non-AFTRA, no must-joins, and so I thought I should suck it up and join. Especially since I am trying to do more soap work, even though pretty soon there will only be one left shooting in NY (One Life to Live). So anyway...I (very nervously) paid the $1600+ initiation fee. Since then two of the shows I was interested in submitting to (White Collar and Rescue Me), which were AFTRA, are NOT AFTRA AT THE MOMENT. IT SEEMS THEY HAVE SWITCHED TO SAG. My stomach is absolutely turning as I write this. I am having so many self-doubts lately about my talent and abilities and future as an actress...I was watching a late night TV preacher last night during a bout of insomnia last night, and he said that the only way to conquer fear is with faith. So, let's pray for my insanity's sake that I will get cast on SNL, The Onion, One Life to Live, As The World Turns (before they are off the air in July) and any of the other AFTRA TV show that shoots in NY.